Georgetown Review 2006 Issue

from: HELP (IN 47 LANGUAGES)
It is rumored that when the famous linguist William Jacobsen was struck by a car, he shouted, “Help!” in 47 languages.

Would it help if you played bingo to get your mind off things? Would it help if I got you a glass of water? A sandwich? A rum and coke? Would it help if I called him for you? Would it help if you put ice on it? ould it help if you elevated your foot? Would it help if I stayed overnight? Would it help if I loaned you the money? Would it help if you sounded out the words? Would it help if you stepped outside for a minute? Would it help if we called a priest? Would it help if we role-played? Would it help if I rolled out the red carpet? Would it help your allergies if I vacuumed? Would it help if I took the test for you? Would it help if I went first? Would it help if you chewed more thoroughly? Would it help if I spoke more slowly? Would it help if I stopped the car? Would it help if we started again?